Deal-breakers in a relationship

Before I start this post I would just like to say that while all of these are very definitely relationship deal-breakers for me personally, some people might love them. Some people might even look for these in a potential partner. That’s okay. Aren’t we lucky that we all look for different things?!

Being messy

This goes two ways. I can’t have someone who leaves mess everywhere they go. I like things to be neat, clean, and orderly. Also, you need to take pride in your appearance. That does not mean wearing a suit every day but it does mean that you need to look at least a bit put together.

Different thoughts on our future

I want to get married, and I want children. Both of these are non-negotiable. If you don’t want to get married or have children then we are not meant for each other. Also, before a relationship develops I want to know if these are things that you want too. Please note that I am not saying that we then HAVE to get married and have children; but before we start a relationship I want to know that the possibility is there.

No direction

I need someone who knows what they want out of life. I don’t expect a written down 5 year plan but I want to know where you would like to be in the future, in terms of your career, and your personal life. If you’re a grown man who wants to just see how things go that’s not going to work for me.

Not reliable

If you keep changing plans with me or arrive late every time we have plans then that’s going to be a problem. Obviously life happens and sometimes things are unavoidable. I am not completely unreasonable, but I do have my limits.

They are rude

This goes for other people and for me. If we are out for dinner and you are rude to the person waiting on our table then that is unacceptable. Also, if you are going to be rude to me then I am going to leave. I’m not going to put up with that.


  • Your hair can’t be longer than mine
  • You cannot wear more makeup than me
  • You cannot take longer than me to get ready

So there you have it. I am sure that I might have a few more but I think sharing these with the internet is enough for now 😉

Do you have any relationship deal-breakers? Let me know in the comments below!


Kirsty x



  1. Jul 10, 2017 / 21:42

    Completely agree with all of these, especially about “no direction” luckily my fiancé has a strong idea of where we’ll be in years to come x

    • Kirsty Hoggons
      Jul 19, 2017 / 11:23

      That is really great. It’s wonderful when you are with someone like that 🙂 x

  2. Jul 11, 2017 / 18:58

    Being rude is a deal breaker for me too. As I’ve worked in retail and as a waitress, I know exactly how awful it is when someone is rude to you, so I could never be with anyone that is like that! Also, I’m totally on board with the keep-your-hair-shorter-than-mine thing. It just wouldn’t be a good look.. Great post!

    Olivia – The Northernist

    • Kirsty Hoggons
      Jul 19, 2017 / 11:25

      I was a waitress for a year so that’s a complete no no for me. Being rude is just not cool!

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