What if I’m Ready but He’s Not?


This week I had an epiphany. All I want is to get married and have a family and I’ve been questioning whether or not that is actually in the cards for me. I mean I am 26, single, and am so far away from having a wedding it’s not even funny. Now I know what you’re probably thinking – Kirsty, this isn’t an epiphany, you already know this. Yes, yes I do. But the epiphany is still coming; I promise.

I am ready, I have been for a while. Not a lot of my friends can understand it but they don’t have to. Having a family is all I have been wanting for as long as I can remember. I want to make school lunches, and cheer my children on during sports matches. I want to be that person. Lately I have been wondering if that will ever happen because, for me, I am getting old and it seems like that dream is slipping further and further away. No, I am not being dramatic. I cannot help how I feel. By this age I wanted to be getting ready for baby number 2, instead I am sitting here as a single pringle.

But during this epiphany it suddenly hit me. What if it’s not me? What if the reason I am still single is because my future husband, the one I should be doing all of this with, is not ready? Maybe he still has things that he needs to achieve before he can settle down. Perhaps there’s something that he needs to find in himself before we can be together. He might be working in a completely different place and we’re both waiting for a flight to bring us together.

Of course there is no way to know for sure but at least this epiphany has made me feel a little bit more positive about love, and about my life. And you know what? I’ll take it!


Kirsty x




  1. March 3, 2017 / 18:45

    I think you need to get some more hobbies or something that will take your mind of this getting married business. No offence.
    Life happens while you’re doing other things, I heard once. So you’ll get a good partner while life and other things are happening. If he’s ready, you’ll both know. If he’s not ready, then he isn’t the guy for you. Don’t rush being married. LIVE wonderfully – focus on growth and other things. Marriage and kids, it’ll come.

    • Kirsty Hoggons
      March 6, 2017 / 15:37

      Thank you for sharing 🙂

  2. March 4, 2017 / 17:32

    That is a thought you should hang on to and remind yourself- to know you are ready is great but make sure you get the prince not the frogs
    I never knew such a man existed outside a book before I met my other half. Don’t ‘settle’- look out for your prince (and you are NOT old) ?
    Find my blog at http://www.whimsyandcosy.wordpress. com

    • Kirsty Hoggons
      March 6, 2017 / 15:35

      Glad I’m not alone! 🙂

  3. March 6, 2017 / 11:14

    Oh my gosh. If I’d read this post a year ago, I’d possibly have cried. I was 29 – almost 30 – and sitting in the exact same boat as you. I’d been single for close on 6 years, and was depressed. All my friends were coupled up, even if not married, and I was seriously starting to think that there must be something wrong with me.

    Queue April 20th 2016. I got set up with this guy. I wasn’t keen – it was ridiculous, our mom’s did art together, and we were the kids who just couldn’t meet anyone nice. Thanks to his mom for being a complete pain and pushing my mom to send her a photo of me, my number somehow got forwarded on to her son. It was literally a blind date, set up by our moms. How embarrassing!

    I’m now set to marry him in just over 4 months time.

    Do you know, I almost didn’t walk into that Mugg and Bean to meet him for coffee, as I thought that this CLEARLY wasn’t how I’d meet my soulmate. We still joke that it was an ‘arranged marriage’, but we didn’t have to fall in love, and realise that this was it!

    He’d dated a girl for about a month, in the Feb before he met me, and had gotten out of a 4 year relationship not even 2 years before. He always says that if I’d met him a few years back, I wouldn’t have liked him. In fact, I even agree that if I’d met him a few years back, we wouldn’t have been on the same page at all! In fact, we’d been at the same 21st about 2/3 years ago, in the same house. He was there with his ex, and we don’t even remember seeing each other, despite there only being 30 odd people there.

    He proposed to me 8 months after meeting me, because he met me when he was single and ready to meet someone serious. He also says he knew I was the one about a month after we met. So it really is just a case of you and your soulmate being on the same page at the same time, and there will be so many ways for you to meet him!

    Don’t feel down or negative about it at all. I knew I was, but everything happened at the right time, in the right place.



    • Kirsty Hoggons
      March 6, 2017 / 15:44

      Everything about this comment has just made me so happy! I am so glad that you have found such a wonderful person and that you are getting married – that is so exciting! Also, it has given me such hope! And being introduced through your mothers was a blessing as it worked out so well. Actually such a cute story to tell people x

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