My Life is Not What I Wanted it to be…and That’s Okay

If you had told me 10 years ago that my life would be the way it is now I would not have believed you. Or, if I had believed you, I would not have liked what you had to say. The truth is, life hasn’t worked out exactly how I wanted it to. It’s not something that I am 100% happy with, but it is something that I am coming to terms with. It sure has taken me long enough!

I was an Au Pair in America and my plan was to stay for 2 years. I didn’t stay for as long as I wanted to, or for as long as I expected to HOWEVER I got to live in New York, half an hour outside of NYC. Not everyone will get the chance to say that in their lives. Some people might never make it to New York and I got to live there!

When I left and came back to South Africa I applied for my dream job; and got it! I am teaching my favourite grade at a school that I absolutely love. This is also my very first teaching job. I mean how many people get their dream job first time around?

I’m not married, but that’s okay too (sort of). If I was married I wouldn’t be able to go on holiday with my sister for a month in December. I would have other responsibilities, ones that wouldn’t allow for me to do that. I certainly wouldn’t be able to do that if I also had any children.

It has taken me some time to come to the realisation that it’s okay that my life has changed course.  But I am here. My life isn’t what I wanted it to be but there is still time to change it. Instead of focusing on the things that I don’t have, or the things that didn’t work out, I am trying to focus on the good. I am trying to appreciate the things that I have instead of the things that I don’t.

Have you ever felt like you are in a rut? Or that your life hasn’t taken the turns that you expected it to? How did you come to terms with it? Are you still trying? Let me know in the comments below!

Love,

Kirsty x

 

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8 Comments

  1. September 17, 2017 / 17:37

    My life is so far from what I thought it would be. I thought by now I would have kids, and own a nice home. I figured I would have a job I love and also be financially stable. I thought I would be happily married to a romantic man.

    Instead I am ecstatically married to a wonderful man who may not be your typical romantic, but he is kind, thoughtful, funny, and our love has grown from a tumultuous and unhappy marriage, to a very connected and happy one.

    We both had good paying jobs, owned 3 cars, a house, had anything we wanted within reason, ( except a great marriage) then it all fell apart. The reason that happened is because my husband suffers from bipolar and depression and anxiety. He stopped working, became diabetic, couldn’t make himself get out of bed, etc. I was so mad at him. Why wouldn’t he just go to work. (Couldn’t he see I was depressed and anxious too?) He was just being lazy and I was so sick of it. Then after multiple hospitalizations, one suicide attempt, and bankruptcy (we lost everything) I had an attitude adjustment. He was not faking it. He really was barely hanging on. He couldn’t make himself get up for work, or help around the house. I realized I was being unreasonable with him. I changed. I became supportive, comforting, I learned about his illnesses so that I could avoid things that would upset him.

    Gradually our relationship got better and better. He changed too. He started to support my dreams (blogging, jewelry making, writing) and being there for me as my own anxiety has become so strong and hard to handle.

    My one big regret is that we don’t have kids. I hope sometime soon that will change. I hate my job most days, but maybe I can quit it one day to do something I love. We are so far from financially stable. I am about negative 500 to be able to pay bills and get everything we need each month. Luckily my mother in law helps.

    Now I fully understand why things are not important. Relationships are. I am so lucky to have realized this in my twenties.

    Life won’t always turn out how you want it but there is a reason. Just find the good and then no matter what you will be happy!!!

    • Kirsty Hoggons
      October 6, 2017 / 13:48

      Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post. So brave of you to share your story! I hope that everything works out for you. I am trying to be positive about my life and hopefully that will help x

  2. September 18, 2017 / 20:20

    Yep sometimes it feels like everything is falling into place and sometimes everything just goes downhill. I think I take my time I mop around for a while and then I just tend to accept it and do what needs to be done to make things better. Often I have found that when you start taking action to make things better you start feeling better and hopeful.

    • Kirsty Hoggons
      September 29, 2017 / 19:31

      I completely agree with you. Taking action definitely helps so much x

  3. September 18, 2017 / 22:28

    Life has never worked out how I expected. I had envisioned this entire life map and instead I got hit with chronic illness before even finishing school. Over ten years later, I’m wondering what I’m doing with my life, if I’ll ever do it accomplish anything, how my health will progress etc. It’s pretty daunting, so I try to just take each day as it comes as tomorrow is never promised!

    Liz x

    • Kirsty Hoggons
      September 29, 2017 / 19:29

      Thank you so much for sharing! Life is a funny thing sometimes but I hope all is going well with you x

  4. September 19, 2017 / 16:48

    I’m going through a break-up right now and this so the biggest lesson I’m trying incorporate in to my life currently. Focus on the good and stop thinking about the things that didn’t go my way. Thank you for sharing such an important message.

    • Kirsty Hoggons
      September 29, 2017 / 19:28

      Thank you for taking the time to read my post 🙂 x

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